grace & tolerance.

As I sat at my desk one afternoon jotting down notes in a new gratitude type planner with some prompts on the first couple of pages –
I wrote the line – “Lying seems to be a staple.”

then under a “goals” section – a few bullet points later I wrote –
– “less tolerance.”
and then i wrote,
– “grace & tolerance are not the same.”

While I washed dishes that night, I kept mulling the sentence over in my mind. As “kind” or “good” people, I think we tend to get these words/ideas confused. And in turn, we let people/situations walk all over us, OR end up staying in a place that isn’t for us.

grace– 1 a: unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification b: a virtue coming from God c: a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine assistance

2 a: APPROVAL, FAVOR b archaic : MERCY, PARDON c: a special favor : PRIVILEGE

tol·er·ance – 1: capacity to endure pain or hardship.
: ENDURANCE, FORTITUDE, STAMINA
2 a: sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one’s own b : the act of allowing something : TOLERATION

Circling back to this thought on lying…

Lying seems to be a staple of the majority of people & situations I come across these days.
Why? Where has integrity migrated to?
“Where have all the cowboys gone?” as Paula Cole crooned back in my carefree days of college?
I mean, I see these lies that are for absolutely zero reason, and it makes my head SPIN & my stomach drop… I literally ask out loud, “Why? WHY?”
Real question – does anyone even know why?

I had a roommate once who forgot to take out the trash, and when I mentioned it with zero animosity & a normal voice, they said “No, I didn’t.” As we both looked at the trash, then each other. I never said a word, but I always think of that when someone tells a lie for no reason.
So, if little things like that start to pile up in a relationship, what do you do?

Give grace? Tolerate?

There are so many things in life that build a foundation, and then continue to build a relationship – every single kind of relationship – with your children & family, your friends, your spouse/significant others, your coworkers… Each brick is important.

How we communicate, love, show up for each other, show our authentic selves.
I think the more you you are, the more of them you get.
I see it in my kids… who I think are pretty wonderful. (& no, I am not at all bias.;-))
I see it in my close friends, & my coworkers, who have now, in turn, become some of my very best friends.

Navigating life, brings a lot. But learning boundaries and knowing your worth is priceless. The quotes and memes are out there not just as a trend, but because they are true.

So, don’t be a martyr or think you are still there & “strong” – hanging around something that isn’t really right for you – in the name of GRACE.

Let me save you some time. What I jotted down absentmindedly, I have learned to be very true. “Grace & tolerance are NOT the same.”

“Grace and Tolerance are NOT the same.”

Remember, TOLERANCE can waste a lot of your life, heart, & inner strength, and in worse case scenarios, devasting too.

I wish for you so much happiness & to be surrounded with everything meant for you & yours.

x – j