“Everything happens for a reason.”
If I had a dollar for every time I have heard that phrase in the last 30 years, I am fairly certain I’d be a millionaire. To me, it has always felt shallow & almost dismissive. It is anything, BUT comforting.
It is not comforting when your mom gets cancer your senior year of college. It is not comforting when you go through almost 3 years of infertility and are told you have a less than 3% chance of ever conceiving a biological baby. (Spoiler alert, I have 3!) It’s not comforting when you lose a best friend suddenly in a car accident, your child is diagnosed with an incurable disease, you are going through a painful divorce, or when you lose a best friend in any circumstance. And, it is not comforting when “there’s a black fly in your chardonnay or rain on your wedding day” either.
Nor is it ironic.
It’s not comforting. But, it is usually is true.
It may take a decade or more later for you to see that silver lining. Or the “reason,” but it almost always breaks through and shows itself.
I was talking to a good friend of mine about this last week. All of the little things that people say that are meant to be helpful, but when you really dive into the meaning, they are backhandedly “wrong,” and sometimes even hurtful. But we did settle on one cliche as being true ~ “Everything happens for a reason.”
Men & Women leave their families to fight wars, and serve our country, see & do things we cannot comprehend, to protect our great United States. Families lose their loved ones, or in the very least, time.
Women, Children & Men quietly endure domestic violence and abuse within the walls of their home, things we cannot comprehend.
People fight illness, addictions, loss of every kind,
You name it… every single day.
All battles of every different size, shape and form.
All of these things in life, all of these invisible scars, shape us into who we are today.
As for me, IF the ONLY reason I endured some of these things, was so I could teach my children to be aware, or side-step that abusive relationship, boss, friend? Worth it.
When a friend asked “If you had to choose who went through this and learned that lesson? Who would you choose? Your kids or yourself?” Without hesitation and through tears I said, “Me! I. CHOOSE. ME. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 110%.”
Hindsight is 20/20. Everything does happen for a reason. If only even to help someone else with your life story.
“Sometimes the bad things that happen, can put us directly on the path that can lead us to the best that will ever happen,” IF, we choose wisely…
My path so far has led me to raising some really, really amazing children, (ok, ok, so maybe I am a little bias!) My path has led me to some amazing friends and relationships. A pretty incredible, unexpected music career, the ability to give back to others and so much more. ♡
So, when you are feeling stuck in the middle of adversity. Or thrown one of those cliches that drive you mad. Just breathe and know, some day you will be able to look back and see the silver lining. Even if it takes a dozen years and is the tiniest of silver or gold peeking through.
It will come. ~ julie
“He works all things for the good of those who love Him.” Romans 8:28