“I Weigh…”

i weigh… how would you fill in the blank?

I heard about this “I Weigh” idea on a podcast I listened to yesterday morning. It was specifically speaking about your body weight (eating disorders / disordered eating). As a woman especially (in my *cough* mid-40s) all of these things really surface… weight, wrinkles, you name it… BUT body image/weight is always a factor at in age, and in today’s society of social media, it is starting dangerously young. On the FLIP SIDE ~

I have been ruminating on it the last 24+ hours, and thinking about how many of us, (outside of our weight and body image), are so very hard on ourselves. The way we WEIGH our worth, compare ourselves with others & find our worth in the wrong things… for me, there are times I can let my anxiety win. ~ So I was thinking – how brilliant this is ~ I WEIGH…

Here are some of mine ~~~

I weigh: being a strong single mom, love, humor, kindness, my heart on my sleeve, my strength, creativity.

WHAT ARE YOUR “I WEIGHS?” if you want to list one or some below… 💛

#iweigh #youarenotnumbers

Garbage Time.

It was fairly late one night, when I looked across the room at my friend & I said “what would you say your love language is?” … we shared what each of ours were when he said “it definitely isn’t quality time, I just don’t like that one.”

I stared at him, blinking.

He looked back and said “hey, stop staring at me like that and judging me over there!”

We both laughed and I said “I’m not judging you, but… umm, you don’t like it?!”

He said, “what I mean is, I don’t have a lot of time to give…”


Oh!! “The Five Love Languages…” or 6, as I like to say, because I absolutely do not even know why they have not added “Food” to the mix (whether you love to cook and serve it, or in my case, gratefully eat what you want to place before me 😉😉), “Food” should definitely be a love language. #shedigresses #shealwaysdigresses

The 5 Love Languages – they are such an interesting to thing to know about yourself and anyone in your life, especially those that are close to you. – as an aside, I encourage you, if you don’t know your own, to go take the test, and encourage your partner, children, and close friends to do the same, it’s fun (free!) and it’s a really great way to learn to love them even better – The 5 Love Languages Quiz

Earlier this week Jeff Haden published an article on inc.com about quality time. “Why Emotionally Intelligent Leaders Refuse to Believe in Quality Time.” I started to read it, intrigued, especially due to the conversation I had had a few months ago with my friend, and I finished it 100% on board. Jerry Seinfeld calls the opposite of quality time, “Garbage Time.” He explains the reasons why it is so much more important for us to need garbage time in our life over “quality time.”

I quickly summed up the article to my friend, and equated the concept to Valentine’s Day. As a woman, would I want my significant other to lavish me with roses, acknowledgement, love & attention only once a year? Or at best, a few? (throw in my birthday and an anniversary too!). *that’s a hard pass from me!*

Or would you rather a steady stream of every day life love and respect of knowing your S.O. felt this way on the regular? Sign me up for door number two please! *can I get an “Amen!”?*

It is the same with garbage time. “Garbage time (is when real life happens, it) is when a moment is not planned and optimized to within an inch of its life. When a conversation is not fraught with meaning and purpose. When an interaction or event is not filled with expectation — and accompanied by the resulting pressure to live up to those expectations.” – Jeff Haden

Jerry Seinfeld says, “I’m a believer in the ordinary and the mundane. These guys that talk about “quality time” — I always find that a little sad when they say, “We have quality time.” 

I don’t want quality time. I want the garbage time. That’s what I like. You just see them in their room reading a comic book and you get to kind of watch that for a minute, or a bowl of Cheerios at 11 o’clock at night when they’re not even supposed to be up. The garbage, that’s what I love.”

“Garbage time is the best time. It isn’t weighted by the expectation that a moment will be special and memorable and perfect.

Garbage time just is. When relationships are not forced, but naturally formed.” – Jeff Haden

Ok, I am going to stop writing & finish my coffee.

Let’s all go spend some garbage time with our people this week! ♡ – jules

** to read the entire article – https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/how-emotionally-intelligent-people-build-better-relationships-develop-trust-employees-family-friends.html **

Sometimes, all you can do is pray & hold space…

“Sometimes all you can do is pray & hold space…”  was what the still small voice in the back of my mind said as I sat alone in my living room last night, tears running down my cheeks, my stomach in knots, just crying out to God and wondering, what in the world can I, little old me, do to help? How can I alleviate any of this in any small capacity?

With a heart that longs to make others hearts and insides feel better, I cannot stop thinking of every U.S. Military Veteran I know, all their families, and all of the active Military here and on the ground in Afghanistan. USA or not. As difficult as everything is to fathom, we cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to see /go through everything through their “lens…”

I want to somehow help, and I know I am not alone in this helpless feeling. 

I am at a loss for words in this travesty, but I do know one thing I can do, 
WE as civilians can do for all those who have served our country so courageously and honorably.  

We can continue to pray, be there and 
hold space.

What does it mean to hold space?

The definition of holding space is “to be present with someone, without judgment. It means you donate your ears and heart without wanting anything in return. It involves practicing empathy and compassion. You put your needs and opinions aside, allowing someone to just be.”

– practice loving kindness, use deep listening, sit with what is, (JUST. BE), allow them to feel, breathe, stay grounded, BE PRESENT, do not usurp their pain or try to fix it…

Be strong. Pray without ceasing. & Hold Space. 🙏🏻❤️🇺🇸

my Not-To-Do-List

Every Sunday I find time to get myself ready for the week ahead… I get my desk perfectly organized for Monday morning & my “To Do List” filled out for the week. An in general list, then whittled down for each day.  My workouts, work, kids, life, goals, etc. etc. 

But last night around 4am, I woke up with the thought of – I need to make a life’s “NOT-To-Do” List!!  

You know the one where I set boundaries, not just with others, but also myself & that voice inside my head that sometimes is a little unkind or perhaps has some pretty dumb ideas. 😉 I challenge you today, or in the morning to think about what you might put on your “NOT-TO-DO-LIST.”  What isn’t serving you, your happiness and/or your future? Be it emotionally or physically… are you sitting around & not exercising or eating healthy? are you letting yourself be a doormat at work or with friends/family?  Here are a few from my list: 
(1) i will NOT skip weight training & yell (internally) at my friend Todd when he constantly asks me how it’s going 😂🤦🏼‍♀️🤸🏼‍♀️ 
(2) i will NOT text or invest time with people who do not care/invest time in me.
(3) i will NOT settle for less. 
(4) i will NOT make myself LESS THAN to make others feel comfortable. 
(5) i will NOT make others lack of preparation my emergency. 
Those are a few of mine… 
Your turn! What’s on Your Not-To-Do-List? 

The Power of Speaking Up

There is POWER in SPEAKING UP. Last week, my youngest daughter & I, unfortunately, were witness to a terrible situation between a family just a few feet away from us… as the fight became more volatile, physical and was escalating, my gut and former experience told me what I needed to do. I got up quietly in the cover of the night, walked inside and called the police, just to ask for a little drive by to check on the situation.  Longish story short, the police arrived just in time.  Two women and two babies were potentially saved from what was most likely to have been a terrible “ending.”

That night as I kissed my daughter goodnight, she said “well, I guess we saved 4 people, but ruined 1 person’s life…” I smiled at her sweet face & said, “No, lovey,  hopefully everyone will get the help they need now. We were quiet little heroes.”

Sometimes that is all you need to be. A QUIET LITTLE HERO.  If you do not have the strength or do not want to get involved, or SHOULD NOT get involved, then quietly ask someone who needs to or can.  If you have never experienced domestic violence or any form of abuse, or known someone that has, you have no idea how INVALUABLE this seemingly small act of bravery can do to change lives. Save lives.  Check the link in my bio for really great information… if you see the signs in someone’s life, don’t wait for them to ask you for help, learn how to ask them, help them.   


why health & wellness or life coaching?

“A coach looks at your present to help you create the future you desire, while a therapist looks at your past to help you manage your present, coaching is action-oriented, therapy is insight-oriented.” – Tess Brigham

Oprah Daily

Here’s what Harvard has to say… right here

And Oprah? Well, everyone know’s that Oprah has our best interest in mind 🙂 check it out here

she wrote poetry on his scars…

When my son was only 18 months old, he fell and cut a huge gash into his tiny shin. I will never forget that day, carrying him down our steep driveway, putting him into our Explorer and rushing him to the ER. My sweet neighbor had seen me and, unknowingly to me, followed along to make sure we were ok. (To this day, people and moments like that are the ones you really remember. KINDNESS.) That cut left a great big scar on my now, 19 year old son’s leg.

One night, a few years ago, while he lay on the couch watching TV, I looked over and saw that scar on his leg and my mind flashed back to the ER, my t-shirt covered in his blood, my face covered in our tears… my heart pumping at a 1000. I thought, “wow, that almost 20 year old scar just reminds me of so many tiny moments, of all the years I begged God for this little boy… and he’s just laying there watching TV, but all I can see is immense L O V E.”

Then I thought about the emotional scars we have and how we, as adults, take our hurts and scars and hide them in our chest. Life is unpredictable, the way it can stretch, and rip, and pull us from every side. But the way we love, have the ability to “write poetry” onto these hurts and scars, so that every time we look at them, we see through that, and all we see is
strength and L O V E.

The way we love and listen to each other, the way we love and stop to listen to ourselves is the most important and precious path to healing and understanding. I think so many times, we aren’t even aware of what we need, until it is right in front of us.

That is why it is so important to be able to lift each other up, speak the good, see the beauty, write poetry on scars. Take time to listen. Take time to be. Take time to let your love and kindness fill your cup and eventually spill over on to others. ♡ ~ julie

How to Increase Vitamin D Levels in Your Body

by: Julie Stewart (SELF magazine)

Whether you want to strengthen your bones or bolster your immune system, you might be wondering how to increase vitamin D in your body. And there’s a decent chance you may need to. Estimates of how many people have low vitamin D levels vary, but data from the 2011 to 2014 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey show that inadequate or deficient levels are relatively common in the U.S., with the risk of inadequacy (24%) and deficiency (8%) peaking among adults ages 20 to 39.

Vitamin D is a key nutrient that we can get through our diets or make for ourselves with the help of sun exposure. Not getting enough of it can be an issue, since it does a lot for our bodies. Vitamin D is best known for working in tandem with calcium to help you build and maintain strong bones. But vitamin D is important for many other aspects of our health as well, playing important roles throughout the body much as a hormone does. As SELF has reported, research suggests that getting enough vitamin D may help protect you from respiratory infections, promote healthy blood sugar levels, prevent pregnancy complications, and perhaps even reduce your risk of developing or dying from various types of cancer.

So how do you get more vitamin D? And how do you know if you need more in the first place? Here’s what you need to know about getting enough vitamin D, and the best ways to get more.

How to know if you need more vitamin D

Vitamin D deficiency happens when you don’t have enough of this nutrient circulating through your blood. READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE HERE…

%d bloggers like this: